Gay Marriage
By Steve Whiting
May 2, 2009 - 5:20:29 AM
A man walked into City Hall carrying his cat.
Man: “Hi. I would like a dog license for my pet.”
Clerk: “That's a cat. I can't give you a dog license for your cat. I can give you a cat license. That will give her all the same privileges as a dog.”
Man: “She already has a cat license. That's not good enough. People think of her as just a cat. Dogs are thought of more highly. Man's best friend, you know. I want to get her a dog license and call her a dog. Then people will think of her as a dog.”
Clerk: “I don't think so. Anyway, I cannot give you a dog license for your cat.”
Man: “Look, it's not fair that only dogs can get dog licenses. Let's just call everything with fur and four legs a dog. Now give me a dog license.”
Clerk: “That's a novel idea. I imagine that would include bears and mice too. Anyway, I still cannot give you a dog license for your cat. The law won't let me.”
Man: “All right. I'll go to the Legislature and get them to change the law to call everything with fur and four legs a dog. Then I can get a dog license for my cat, and people will start thinking of her as a dog. I'll tell the legislators that it's a civil rights issue. Then they'll give me whatever I want.”
Clerk: “You are probably right. But she still looks like a cat to me.”
Steve Whiting is an attorney practicing in Portland. He served on the Maine Family Policy Council Board of Directors in the 1990s. He is the ministry's attorney.
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